Lori (The Walking Dead: Origins)
by TheWalkingDeadSeasonNegative
Summary: When Lori met Rick her life changed. Sometimes a wife must sacrifice her dreams, her hopes, just to be a good wife. #Lori tells the story of Lori Grimes, an often hated character in The Walking Dead.#Lori is divided into three parts: How Lori viewed Lori. How Rick viewed Lori. And how Shane viewed Lori. She is complicated, misunderstood, strong, self-sacrificing. She is Lori Grimes
1. Chapter 1

#Lori

Chapter 1

Rick

Everything was about Rick. Rick's uniform, Rick's _mother_ , Rick's Pride, Rick, Rick, _RICK!_ Even after the world was flipped upside down and the dead now walk again, it's still all about Rick. Lori didn't understand how Rick, his hands covered in death, is still so magnanimous. Even in Rick's darkest moments, he somehow maintains his nobility. That innate goodness is what drew Lori to Rick in the beginning.

Lori and Rick were locked in a strong gaze, his face had softened and his blue eyes yearned for his wife again. He missed his Lori. They had been embroiled in an icy standoff through the duration of her pregnancy due to Shane's phantom still hovering over their marriage.

In this moment, the husband and wife could only think about each other. Rick was ready to move on, Lori was due to give birth and he knew his cold war with Lori had to end. Rick was sensitive; his ego was injured in a fashion that couldn't just be undone. His hostility towards Lori was justified in his eyes; he figured at very least he wanted her to feel the hurt she delivered to him. _Childish_ : yes.But Sherriff Grimes felt like it was just.

Lori was amazed by Rick; his development in the last year astonished her. As much as he rejected her she found herself even more drawn to him. He was nothing like the Sherriff Grimes that policed Kings County and he was light years from the shy Ricky Grimes she met at Georgia State.

Georgia State was a unique choice for Lori, her family had a level of affluence but she purposely chose Georgia State for three reasons: it was in Atlanta, it was a cultural melting pot, and she would finally be away from her ever watchful father. Lori Madison's family actually moved from Maine when she was ten-years-old to the rural south of Savannah, Georgia.

Lori was focused on getting _the_ hell away from Donald Madison and vanishing into the crowd in Atlanta seemed like a perfect plan. Lori's outgoing personality and beauty made her very popular on the campus of GSU. She enjoyed the night life; Lori yearned for the night light and electric lights of _Peach Tree Street_.

Lori remembered one night the sun had recently sank leaving the sky with races of mauve and orange. Surrounded by her equally beautiful yet anonymous friends Lori Madison swayed her petite body to Mariah Carey's "Fantasy". The girls were enjoying a break from classes at the high-end tavern located in the heart of Downtown Atlanta. It was only 7:54PM, so they were just getting started. After three drinks the girls planned to get some quick food to balance out the liquor then change and head out to the ritzy nightclub _Kisses_.

Lori was in her prime.

But hidden by the bar two baby blues watched her from a far. His face was softer then, free of scruff and lines from time. His skin was baby soft; in 1996 Rick Grimes struggled to grow facial hair. His dark hair was low but soft boyish locks still sat upon his crown. He was innocent in those days, a complete contrast to whom he is today.

The roundness of his pink slips stretched into a smirk when Lori's eyes met his. He nervously looked away; he knew a girl like Lori would never want a guy like him. _No way is she looking at me_ , thought Rick Before taking a small swig from his _Bud Light_. Lori was looking at Rick; there was something simple but very beautiful about him. What made Rick all the more sexy was he had no idea how attractive he was.

Lori didn't cave to social norms back in those days, she went against the grain. Her long raven locks were teased into curls, and like the enticing maiden she was, Lori shook her beautiful hair invitingly. But Rick stayed seated by the bar and absorbed the sight. Rick admired the tight jeans and dark halter top that Lori wore, but he appreciated the Lori that he saw on campus as well.

Frustrated with his lack of courage, Lori finally walks over to Rick and grabs his hand to raise him from his seat. "On your feet, cowboy," demanded Lori.

Rick quickly sits down the brown bottle, "But I can't dance."

"Well you can't keep staring at me either, we are either going to dance or you can't look at me anymore. I know it sounds self-centered but you have totally been staring holes through me and it's kinda scary when a guy is just staring you down."

"I'm sorry," the pure Rick apologized. "I am so sorry; I really didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Rick couldn't stop smiling through his apology.

"That apology loses its effectiveness if you're smiling through it," Lori placed her hand on her hip, challenging Rick.

"I can't help but smile, because…"

"Because what, I'm a girl and you don't think I can beat you up. I had three older brothers so I know how to beat up boys," teased Lori.

"I can't stop smiling because you're beautiful," replied Rick.

Sure it was corny; Rick was corny. Lori blushed and couldn't help but smile herself, "You can either dance with me or at least put on some sunglasses if you're going to stare bullet holes into me. So you decide."

"You decided, Rick," Lori demanded.

"Whatever you want to do, Lori," Rick didn't have time to argue with his wife today. There was fifteen pre-teens outside making an enormous mess for this 12th birthday party for Carl. Rick wanted something easy; Rick wanted to just take Carl and perhaps 2 of his friends to Disney World. It probably would have been easier than this tween extravaganza that Lori decided. And now that the power was knocked out by the lights and speakers needed for this event, Lori expected _him_ to come up with a solution.

"Everyone knows you need a generator for these kinds of things, Lori," Agatha, Rick's mother added. "Who uses their own home to power this mini-Las Vegas show that you have going on out there."

"I'm sorry, Agatha, I'm not Bob Villa," Lori retorted. "And neither are you."

"Hey, you two," Rick interrupted. Rick always had to play referee when Lori and his mother were brought together. "Now it's a simple fix, a busted fuse ain't a sign of the apocalypse. Getting a generator at the last minute, may not be realistic."

"So what can we do, Rick?" Lori was stressed from the day and the distance that grew between her and Rick.

"We keep it simple; bring out the cake, sing 'happy birthday', call it a night. We already gonna need a cleanup crew to clean up this disaster." Rick began to look through his kitchen curtains to watch the crowd of kids and parents in his backyard. Even though the power was cut, Shane and a few of the officers dressed in full uniform did their best to entertain the children.

"Is that all you care about, Rick," Lori shot back, "The most simple, cheapest, route?"

"Don't you talk to my son that way!" Agatha interjected.

Agatha's homely appearance made her easier to loathe, "Rick, I keep my _mother_ out of my marriage, can you please do the same."

"You uppity, arrogant, little bitch!" Agatha retorted with hostility and bile smothering her words.

Angrily Lori throws a glass plate, smashing into it shards. "This is _my_ house and you are a guest-actually _**were**_ a guest. You think you can barge in her making your comments and suggestion about my parenting and me being a good wife. You get out of my house and you better not even SPEAK to my son as you leave!"

"You gonna let her talk to me like that, your own mother?"Agatha's deep Dixie accent exposed her disappointment with her son.

"You know what," Rick began, "I'm not gonna do this. You two are making this about _you_ , I thought it was _CARL's_ birthday. You two grownups wanna throw fits like children, go head. My son needs me."

Rick would rejoin the festivities, disengaging with his wife and mother. Most of the guest hard the noise, but Rick dismissed it saying he dropped a dish. Rick was right in the end; all the kids cared about was ice cream, cake, games, and Carl. Lori stayed inside well after Agatha left in her 1975 Cadillac and well after Rick left for the bar alone.

Lori sat on her porch alone with a beer as Shane finished the clean up. "You know you don't have to do that?"

"Yeah, I know," Shane replied stuffing the dumpster with the oversized black trash bag. "It's not like _you_ were going to do it."

"I had the intentions on leaving it for Rick."

Shane began to chuckle, he turned around to take a good look at Lori, she wore tight fitting acid washed jeans, paring it with a soft purple tank with a sandstone opened flannel shirt. Shane unconsciously licked his bottom lip at the sight of the woman looking utterly edible. She was alone, her body language screamed she wanted to be touched. Or that's how Shane read things.

"That's pretty spiteful," Officer Walsh responded. "You two still going at it?"

"For us to be 'going at it' we would have to talk to each other," confessed Lori.

"You know Rick," Shane reminded. "He's not one to talk about his feelings. He can tell you about his thoughts and philosophies on life, but he shuts down his feelings."

"Is that a _cop_ -thing?"

"Nah, that's just a ' _Rick_ '-thing." Shane wasn't exactly honest; he too suffered with displaying his feelings. He had a chain of girlfriends but Shane never ever committed to anyone. He had a bottomless well for a sexual appetite but he could never find intimate or emotional satisfaction in anything. Shane, more so than Rick, was completely disconnected with feelings. Shane could only feel the carnal action of them moment but he was completely ill-equipped to deal with the emotions after. But Shane noticed that he would often diminished Rick when he compared Rick to himself.

"When are you going to get married so I can give _you_ advice," taunted Lori.

Shane scoffed, "Like hell would I ever get marriage advice from you." Lori playfully shoves Shane who too, begins to chuckle. Lori then wraps her arms around Shane's waist and buried her face into his chest. Shane's heart began to race, was this the moment, the second that he and Lori had been building up to all along? The texting, the secret conversations about Rick, would this be the moment?

"Shane?" Lori said, her voice muffled by fabric and Shane's chest.

"Lori," he replied, his voice low, almost seductive in tone.

There was a short silence before Lori finally said, "Please, bring my husband home."


	2. Chapter 2

The Eye of the Hurricane

Chapter 2

It was a good night for Rick: the campus was quit, his dorm mate had left for Christmas break already and he had the dorm all to himself. He decided to celebrate with his best friend Shane Walsh. Shane, dressed in a GSU tank top sat next to Rick who too donned Georgia State attire. Rick was dressed in a large GSU hoodie and dark pajama pants. The twenty-year-old Shane, a known hell raiser, decided to ignore the Georgia State University policy on alcohol consumption. Between Shane and Rick, the 12-pack was down to only three.

"I met a girl last night," confessed Rick. He was bashful by nature, so it was unlike him to even have a date. Rick's cerulean eyes were darkened by the shadows of the night but Shane could still make out the blue even through the gloom. The two men sat alone, finishing a 12 pack purchased by Rick since he turned 21 before Shane.

"Is she hot?" asked Shane. "Nice tits? How's the ass?"

Rick was taken aback by how lusty Shane was presenting, "Man, is that all you care about? _Tits_ and _ass_?"

"Duh, of course, man!" Shane was surprised Rick even asked him that.

"Well she happens to be very _petite_ and _sweet_ ," replied Grimes. "Just like how I like 'em."

Shane preferred a little more _va-va-voom_ to his women, as did most men from the South. "I don't like em too boney." But who was Shane fooling; he was game for anyone willing to bed him.

"Well she ain't for _you,_ " teased Rick.

"She got a name?"

"Lori," Rick took a quick swig of his Bud Light. "She goes to GSU too, but I met her at the _Toga Tavern_. I recognized her from the campus, but she ain't remember me."

"Ugh, _Toga?_ " wined Shane, "that's air-head central, man. Isn't that were all the fraternity assholes meet-up with empty-headed sorority bitches?" Shane really disliked anything Greek-related, after he was rejected by _Alpha Epsilon Pi_. Shane has held a bitter grudge against all fraternity or sororities. "You know those sorority chicks are only good for one thing."

"And Mr. Walsh, what's that?" Rick said, an alcohol induced grin etched on his youthful face.

"You know what I'm talking about, man," said Shane before grabbing himself in a vulgar manner.

Rick let out an echoing laugh before colliding his beer bottle with Shane's. Rick loved Shane's dirty talk; it was a deep contrast to his overtly moral attitude. Though Rick wasn't as vulgar as Shane, he did enjoy the prospect. Rick lacked the confidence that Shane had, but made up for it with his morality. Rick may not have had as many girlfriends as Shane but his relationships tended to last longer.

Rick admired Shane's ability to pick up girls: Shane could just stick out his chest, drop an assholish line and he got laid. Rick had to actually be polite, charming, and respectful. Shane may have had the looks and the bad boy persona, but Rick was the gentleman that you could actually take home to your mother.

Shane attempted to stand by his knees were too weak due to the excessive amount of alcohol he consumed. "Whoa, if you bust your ass expect me to remind you for the rest of the semester."

"I'll keep that in mind," Shane said before carefully stepping over the cooler containing the remaining three beers.

"Hey, where you goin'?" Rick called out to an exiting Shane.

"I gotta get back to my dorm, I've got a chem test at 9:30," replied Shane. "I'm going to shoot for a 90% but I would be totally content with a 72."

"A ' _C_ '?" teased Rick. "We're shooting for the bottom, Shane Walsh?"

"If I was shooting for the bottom I would have said _65,_ " clarified Shane. "Catch you on the flipside, Grimes."

Shane headed rather sloppily back to the Olympic Village, Rick watched his friend with a smirk. He noticed how Shane walked with his chest stuck out like a proud peacock. He had a pompous strut but there was something about Shane's walk that tickled Rick. Many people would just see a jerk when they looked at Shane Walsh, but Rick knew under that thin veneer of arrogance was a good man. Even if no one else thought so.

Rick watched Lori through the gates of West Georgia Correctional Facility. The wind caught a lock of her dark hair and playfully toyed with the strands. Lori rubbed her protruding stomach as she watched her husband silently. She reminisced wordlessly the day she met Rick, she remembered how shy he was, how he was afraid to even dance with her. But she made him, kicking and screaming the entire time.

Sherriff Grimes, however, was focused on a darker memory of his wife. In his mind, Rick traveled almost 13 years before, the world was easier then. The Grimes were only married two years before Lori gave birth to Carl. The three had just moved into the family home located in Kings County, Georgia and Lori was having adjustment issues.

Lori sat at her dining room table looking blankly at her plate of brussel sprouts and grilled salmon. Rick was busy moving boxes deeper into the home. But the rookie Deputy noticed the emptiness in his wife; Lori gave birth two weeks earlier and ever since then she had changed. Watching Lori from across the room, Rick observed the trancelike state his wife was in.

"Lori?" he asked, attempting to shake his wife into sanity, but Lori remained silent. "Lori!"

Her brown eyes fluttered to life, "Rick, oh I'm sorry, babe. I just kinda dozed off."

"Yeah, I've noticed that," Rick said as he placed a tan box inside of the family living room. "You really need to eat something missy. Didn't you just give birth not too long ago?" Rick walked over to his wife and laid his strong hands on her waify shoulders.

Lori let out a small moan as she melted into his massage. "You need to eat something, you need your strength."

"What will I need my strength for, Deputy Grimes?" Lori replied, coyly.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Rick said before pelting his wife's shoulder with a smoldering kiss. Rick hissed nastily "Carl's sleep."

" _Finally_ ," remarked Lori.

The kisses led to Lori's neck: her weak spot. But Rick noticed that Lori's body did not react warmly to his advances. Her body remained stiff and unwavered, her bones felt fused in place. Her depression had paused her life and her screams were muted by her force smiles. Rick felt the frostbite from Lori's resistance, his hands travelled back to her shoulders delivering one final peck from his lips. "Eat up."

As Rick walked away heading upstairs to the master bedroom Lori finally said, "Goodnight, love."

Rick usually slept well; it would be over a decade before the horrors of the undead kept him awake. He slept so comfortably he didn't feel his wife leave their king-sized plush mattress. Rick, naturally a light sleeper, was finally awoken by a faint echoing cry. Rick slowly flickered his eyelids open, his bed room was lit only by the fullness of the moon. Rick scanned his mattress and noticed his wife was not beside him.

"Lori," Rick called out, groggily.

Silence.

"Lori?" Rick said before becoming more alert and oriented. Rick rose from his bed rather sharply, shirtless and dressed in only black Calvin Klein boxer briefs with bare feet, Rick quickly began to look for his wife. She wasn't in the adjoining bathroom, he looked there first.

"Lori!" Rick growled loudly, trying his best not to disturb a sleeping Carl. Rick was now somewhat frantic, desperately looking for his wife. Rick storms into Carl's room, desperate to find his wife but encountered something awful: an empty bassinette.

"Carl?" Rick's voice was low and lost as he approached the empty baby blue bassinette. "Carl?! LORI?!" Rick stormed through his home, calling out his family's name in a desperate attempt to locate Carl and Lori. Rick's face was flustered and red as he desperately looked for his family.

Rick head it again, another echoing cry of an infant in the distance. "Carl?" Rick sprints down the stairs, sure that Carl's cries are from outside of the home. The officers tears through his dining room, tripping over stray boxes in his way. Every light in the home was off and Rick struggled with visibility, but the officer was too focused on locating Carl's cry.

When Officer Grimes finally made it to his backdoor he could already see Lori through the glass window on the French doors. In the distance, Lori sat outside on the small swing that she and Rick built on the day they moved into the home. Wearing only her white night gown, Lori sat in a trancelike state holding the small infant who was poorly covered with a thin, baby blue blanket.

"Lori!" Rick called out after opening the door, but Lori didn't acknowledge Rick. She remained enthralled by her brief psychosis, her back facing Rick.

It was cold and it wasn't just because Rick was in his underwear. It was a balmy October evening, an unforgiving 42 degrees. The weather was far too cold for an infant or even Lori for that matter. Rick was heavily alarmed by the quick decline of his wife's mental condition. Rick walked over to his wife who ignored the desperate cries from Carl.

Rick placed a warm hand on Lori's shoulder which snapped her into reality. Lori was horrified when she realized where she was. "Rick, where… What's happening?"

Lori had never before displayed anything that he would deem as mentally unhinged so this change in behavior scared Rick. "Lori, do you know how you got out here?"

"I-I-I…" Lori struggled to organize her thought. "Rick, I just…"

"It's ok, Lori, let's get you back inside," said Rick. He didn't want to drill her; Rick didn't want to add yet another pressure on Lori. Much of the values that were instilled in Rick came from his father, who too had a challenging wife.

It would later be discovered that Lori was experiencing Postpartum Depression. A condition that afflicts many women, especially after their first birth. But there had always been a darkness in Lori that she hid under her friendly and inviting smile. But Rick would be there for Lori, through the smiles and the tears, Rick swore he would stay with his wife.

But then Shane happened.


	3. Replaced- The Conclusion

Chapter 3 - "Replaced"

It had been eight months since Shane joined Phillip and Austin and he found himself quite fond of the two. Shane had the tendency to be wary of strangers but his trust in people was reestablished once he met the Marco's. Shane liked them both in different ways: he enjoyed Austin's roughness, the Italian was very abbreviated when he spoke and preferred to let his actions speak for him. He was dark coffee; he didn't need to be overly sweet or smooth. Shane preferred that to Rick's "Can't We All Just Get Along" philosophy. No, we all _cannot_ get along, and Shane and Austin accepted and understood that.

Initially Austin was distrustful of the Deputy; he found Shane's origin story a little unsettling. Austin figured that if Shane's own best friend wanted him dead, there may have been a good reason. Austin's suspicion decreased over the months, especially when he saw just how efficient Shane was at disposing of the walkers. His experience with the dead in such hands on fashion was very valuable.

Phillip and Shane's relationship was significantly warmer due to their similar interest. Austin was somewhat distrustful initially by the amount of time Phillip spent with Shane. Shane, though outwardly cool, was an in the closet comic book fan. Shane was too cool to share his secret obsession with Marvel Comics from Rick because he was sure it would destroy his macho mystique. Phillip being gay made it easier for Shane to reveal his "secret". Phillip felt his secret comic fetish was a rather boring "dark secret", but it gave the soldier even more insight into Shane's psyche.

The two men had many similar likes when it came to music, as well. Both men enjoyed British bands like Oasis, Bush, and Coldplay. Shane was very interested in hand-to-hand combat and Phillip help train him with beginner's Jujitsu. Sherriff Walsh appreciated Phillip's openness, for the first time in almost a year Shane felt like he belonged.

Phillip was done evaluating Shane; he deduced that though Shane has multiple character flaws, he was not a threat to him or Austin. Moreover, Shane had become quite the asset to the team. Now with a third, the survivors can raid bigger and more dangerous locations.

The location: Augusta, Georgia. A significantly smaller town in comparison to Atlanta, but still overrun by the dead. The team sat inside of the large black advanced Humvee prototype: The PYTHON. Their voices were muffled by the soundproof interior and their faces were obscured by the tinted windows. With these convenient accommodations of the PYTHON, they were completely hidden from the dead.

The vehicle was parked outside of the city on Interstate-20, inside the men finished gearing up. As Austin checked the clip on his UZI-Pro he asks Phillip, "You see anything on that drone?"

Phillip had used the six-propeller drone to scan the area, "We got a few stragglers surrounding the building, but nothing we can't handle." The silver drone buzzed mutely above the K-mart located on Gordon Highway in Augusta. K-Mart, though not one of Phillip's favorite places prior to the apocalypse, had everything they needed. K-Mart sold not only food, water, and clothes, but also ammunition.

"Good, we can just pull up, take those few hanging out in the parking lot out and grab a shopping cart," concluded Walsh.

"Maybe," chimed Austin. "We can see how many are outside, for all we know that place could be full of them."

"Like in Palm Coast," Phillip reminded Austin.

"Palm Coast?" asked Shane.

"Florida," Phillip answered as he guided the drone back to the PYTHON. "Right after Miami became a little too dangerous, Austin and I headed to Palm Coast. We had a friend that owned a ranch there and we assumed we could stay there until this entire _thing_ had ended. Long story made short, we tried to make a quick stop at a Target for supplies. Unfortunately, the town's people decided to store all their walkers inside of the department store. Needless to say, I couldn't get my much needed hair pomade. I was pissed."

"I heard a lot of places tried to store them," said Shane. "In Atlanta they tried to put the ' _sick'_ inside of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium. It didn't end well."

"There's no storing them, there's no saving them, there is _only_ killing them," said Austin. "Had people understood that early on things may have not slipped so far, so fast."

"The natural reaction to people who look sick isn't to execute them, dear," Phillip added. "No one knew where things would go, how dark things would become."

They parked a mile away from the K-Mart and traveled the rest of the way on foot. Buster, the large dark chocolate colored Neapolitan Mastiff traveled with his masters and Shane. The area was somewhat populated with homes with unkempt yards. A few stray rotted corpses lay on the ground but interestingly enough, very few walkers were spotted.

All three men were dressed in their combat uniforms, Austin didn't believe in taking chances when making these kinds of runs. They even brought their matching black helmets and stuffed them in their otherwise empty duffle bags. The men were also armed to the nines; Austin promoted the use of melee weapons and using only silenced firearms. Austin liked to attack quickly and silently so they didn't attract any attention, living or undead.

The team made it to the deserted parking lot. The team noticed the ten walkers that stood in close proximity to the entrance. The walkers sloppily banged their hands and slammed their bodies against the doors. Phillip quickly brainstormed, "There must be people in there."

"How you figure that?" asked Shane.

"Simple, those things are drawn to noise or mammals. So unless there is a really big rat in there-"

"-Then there are survivors inside," finished Austin.

"How do we know they're friendly?" asked the officer.

"We don't, but we know they are eating," Phillip collected his two bowie knives. "They could be good guys, they could be bad guys; I don't give a shit which. I _do_ know they have probably lots of food and supplies inside of there. So I'm taking some, who's coming with me?"

"Phillip, let's not get impulsive," chastised Austin.

"10, 9, 8…" Phillip began his countdown. He was giving the team the count of ten to get ready or he was going to force them.

"You know you are the most immature-" replied Austin.

"7, 6, 5…"

"Aww, hell," sighed Shane who quickly retrieved his large red fire axe from its duffle bag. "Let's just do this shit, no need for the NASA countdown."

"See, _he_ gets it," Phillip said.

The three men as well as Buster the Dog, charged the dead. Buster, being the swiftest of the four was able to tackle one of the walkers. The zombie fell face forward and the large dog began to maul at the walkers throat. Shane caught up with Buster and with one sharp stomp, he crushed the skull of the walker. Austin and Phillip were not far behind, Phillip managed to bisect the heads of two walkers simultaneously. Austin, with one mighty swing of his machete, beheaded two of the walking dead.

The four had been doing this for months and they all learned from each other. Phillip was more of a brawler who wasn't afraid to get up close and personal with the walkers, he was complimented by Austin's ox-like strength. Shane worked well with Buster, while the dog was strong enough to knock down one walker Shane could deliver the finishing blow and also protect the canine from being overwhelmed. They were quite the team.

When the dust settled, our heroes stood tall over the fallen walkers. First to gloat was Shane, "That was easy."

" _Suspiciously_ , easy," Phillip added. Phillip walked closer to the shopping center glass sliding doors for a closer inspection. He noticed that there was a black tarp covering the glass making it impossible to look inside of the store. Phillip also noticed the thick chain and even thicker lock securing the doors closed. "Looks like at very least, there used to be people here."

"So are we going in or are we just going to sit out here and hypothesize?" asked Shane as he rested his innards soaked ax on his shoulder.

"We're going to think this through," Austin said, refocusing **his** team. "We could probably take the roof."

Phillip and Shane both looked at each other after Austin's suggestion. They weren't a big fan of scaling the roof of the shopping center, especially with a huge dog. "Man, _fuuuuuuuuuckkkk_ that. Shane, isn't it axing time?"

"I thought you would never ask," Shane raised his axe to strike.

"Use that axe on that lock, I'm going to use it on your prick," Austin threatens Shane, and Austin was only half-joking.

Austin approached the door and without warning the colossal Austin began to bang on the glass doors. He struck hard enough to catch the attention of any potential walkers inside but gentle enough not to shatter the glass. "The lock is clearly designed to keep the dead out, the tarp is used to block visibility. Somebody was holed up here, rather they still are alive is a different question."

"Yeah, no shit, man," added Shane. "We can see _that_."

"Look!" Austin said as he traced his finger around the rust-stained lock and chain. "Whoever put this lock up, hadn't messed with it since. See how the rust is caked around the metal. That means if there are people in here, they must have another way to get in. Most likely the roof is the way they would get in and out."

"Perhaps," argued Phillip. "But chances are they don't have an enormous dog to lift on their shoulders. Let's pop the lock, we can bolt it on the inside if we need to. You pounded on the door like Fred Flinstone and no one, dead nor living, appeared. If we encounter hostiles, we'll deal. We always do."

"We're gonna have to get our hands dirty, sometimes," Shane said, siding with Phillip.

Austin noticed that Phillip and Shane would often side with each other. Austin didn't know what to make of it just yet, but he was becoming suspicious of Shane's influence. "Fine, Shane, you can do the honors."

With one strike, the locked was popped. "Fellas, night vision goggles," Austin prompted.

Austin preferred to take the dog as a partner and Phillip went with Shane. Even after eight months, Austin had not built enough esteem in Shane. Phillip, for reasons he still didn't understand, trusted Shane. The two walked together, led by their handguns in the dark abandoned shopping center. The aisles were in disarray, goods were thrown about inside of the K-Mart. Phillip suspected the brunt of the mess probably happened during the beginning of the outbreak.

As Phillip scanned the aisles for useful goods, he noticed in his periphial Shane staring off. Shane was transfixed by large blue teddy bear with the words "It's a boy!" on its stomach. Surrounding the bear was miscellaneous baby items. For months thoughts of Lori and the baby never entered Shane's mind, but this brought it all back.

"Walsh."

"Yeah."

"Find anything useful?" asked Phillip, joining Shane in the baby section.

The two men were silent, Shane was overwhelmed by emotions but he did his best to mask them. Shane may have exposed his sensitive side to Phillip before, but he wanted to maintain his firm front. "How old is Cameron, again?"

Thoughts of Cameron emerged, the young boy's bright smile and his friendly personality brought a smile to Phillip's full pink lips. "Cameron is four, he turns five in November."

"Do you think about him?" asked Shane, his eyes still locked on the large blue teddy.

"Every day," answered the soldier. "But I think I'm supposed to, it keeps me going. It keeps me heading north. It took us eight months and we are only in Augusta, we gotta move much faster than this."

"I had a dream about Lori a few nights ago," confessed Shane. "She was alive, holding my son, she was waiting for me."

"You sure it's _your_ son?" countered Phillip.

Shane scoffed, "I'm more than confident."

"You never told me the whole story with Lori."

"How much time do you have?" asked Shane.

Lori had been unhinged since Rick was put in the hospital by that bullet, but when it rains it truly poured. Lori watched with Shane as the US government rain down napalm from the sky in an attempt to cleanse the earth of the dead. The sight was horrifying, Lori buried her teary eyes into Shane's chest.

"I just don't know what to do, Shane," cried Lori. Shane held her tiny frame close to his, stroking her hair as tears fell from her face.

"Listen to me Lori," began Shane, "I don't care what happens, I'm not leaving your side. You hear me? I am here for you and Carl. I will _die_ protecting you two. Do you understand me, Lori."

Lori's eyes met Shane's, the dew of tears still glossing her irises. "We're not your responsibility."

"Yes you are, Lori," agued Shane. "I'm with you to the end, Lori. All the way 'till the end."

Lori's gaze with Shane intensified, there was a burning in her chest that she couldn't ignore. Impulsively Lori kisses Shane on his lips, hungrily desiring the heat of his mouth. Shane was initially surprised; though Shane indulged fantasies of being with Lori he kept them in the darkest part of his psyche. But now was he shocked that he and Lori kissed, he was more surprised that she made the first move.

"Lori, what are you-" but before Shane could finish his question, Lori pelted his mouth with more steamy kisses. Shane caressed Lori's tongue with his, filling her mouth more with his.

Hidden by the darkness of night and viewed only by the trees, Lori released the buttons to her dark flannel exposing her dark velvet bra. Shane quickly reached for the skin on her belly button but she retracted from his touch.

"It's ok," Shane reassured, with the tips of his fingers he pulls Lori closer to his body. "It's ok, Lori. I'm going to take care of you."

She began to melt into his touch and the two fell to the ground gently. Lori mounted Shane and felt the girth of his manhood expand inside of her, pulsating and thrilling. Shane was rough even while Lori was on top, Shane managed to maintain full control by delivering long, deep, strokes.

Spent, the two lay on the grass, alone and nude like the day they were born.

Lori was ashamed. In the moment, she went as mad as the world had. No Rick, no mom, no dad, all she had now was Carl and Shane. But what upset Lori the most wasn't the fact that she slept with Shane, the subtext had been there for years. What bothered Lori was how much she enjoyed it, how Shane's roughness and bed made her feel something she hadn't felt in years. Shane's overt macho persona brought out Lori's most feminine emotions.

Lori desperately looked for her discarded underwear and bra, Shane can sense Lori heightened anxiety. Shane assumed that the sexual tryst would if anything take the edge off but it appeared to open a Pandora 's Box. "Lori."

She ignored his calls, "Where the fuck are my underwear?" Lori asked rhetorically.

Lori rarely used profanity, Shane was somewhat taken aback. With his right index finger, Shane lifts up Lori's magenta petite panties. And in a somewhat taunting fashion Shane says breathlessly, "Looking for _these_?"

Lori angrily cuts her eyes at Shane before snatching her underwear rudely. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight."

"It looked like something both of us needed," Shane said, he still lay nude on the grassy earth as Lori struggled to get dressed.

"What if Carl saw us? All the questions he would have for me and you."

"Lori, Carl's safe with that family, what's their names, the Pelts?" Shane struggled with names of the seemingly friendly family.

"The Peletier, Shane," Lori answered, annoyed by the sheer presence of Shane at this point.

"Yeah, _them_. They have Carl, I'm sure he's safe. We can stay here for a little longer." Shane wanted to connect intimately with Lori more. Sex had always been one of Shane's coping skills and he needed Lori's help to manage their current situation.

"No, Shane, you will never touch me again," Lori promised.

he delivered his signature teeth suck before finally standing, "What did you say to me?"

"You heard _exactly_ what I said, Shane Walsh. You will never touch me again."

Shane released a smug chuckle as his eyes sized up Lori, "You think this is all about _you_? Alright then, Lori. You've got yourself a deal." Shane quickly dressed and the two headed back to the camp separately.

Shane was supposed to keep watch but at some point Shane could no longer keep his eyes open. Between the bombing of Atlanta and the emotional torrent that was Lori, the officer was. Lori and Shane sat in the front of Shane's old swat car, Carl slept on a make shift bed consisting of blankets in the back seat. It wasn't comfortable for anyone, but it was the best way to make a quick exit.

Shane initially slept quickly until he felt a tugging at his body that snapped him to consciousness. When he opens his eyes he was greeted by a smiling Lori as she attempted to unbuckle his pants. Shane was confused by Lori, how she went from great extremes with no rhyme or reason.

"Woman, what are you doing?" Shane asked through a dry, groggy throat.

"Shhhhh…" Lori hissed. "Don't wake up Carl. Besides, I said you'll never touch _me_ again. I never said I couldn't touch _you_."

Shane gave a quick smile before closing his eyes as Lori expressed her deepest appreciation for all Sherriff Walsh has done for her.

"Wow," Phillip added. "She covered her ass well."

"What are you crowing about," said Walsh.

"Well, after spending weeks riding her husband's best friend's pole, she is reunited with her husband. Now, if you two were smart you would have fessed up immediately and apologized. Sounds like our damsel knew that wouldn't go the way she wanted it. So she waited for the perfect time to tell her husband that you two were involved. She perfectly packaged herself as the poor dame and casted you as the jerk who hogtied her to the railroad tracks.

"She totally leaves out the part about how she waved her vaj steam in your face for the last couple of years. No wonder why Rick put that knife in your chest. You were the perfect patsy; you're easily hateable and you already come off like a jerk. _Voilà_."

"What the hell do you know," Shane countered. "You weren't there. How do you know how we felt? What we meant to each other."

"Couldn't have meant too much," countered Phillip. "Besides, I know exactly how _she_ felt. Trapped between who you are and who you need to become, being unsure who's best for you and your son. Having two men, who at one time was as close as family, become bitter enemies because your heart can't make sound decisions. Are you kidding: I _was_ Lori."

"Come again," Shane said, gesturing with his right hand to Phillip from walking further down the aisle. "What do you mean you ' _were_ _Lori'_?"

The young solider face Shane and confesses rather openly, "I cheated on Austin."

" _What_?!" Shane was actually shocked; Phillip always exuded this "holier-than-thou" sense of morality. It seemed all the more hard to believe the close couple had to deal with infidelity.

"I'm not _perfect,_ Shane."

"But you _cheated_ on Austin?" echoed Shane.

"Yeah," Phillip replied, his voice lower this time, his tone was dripped with shame. "Wasn't exactly my most shining moment but I did. We were married, what, a year maybe."

"Why?"

"Why do people cheat, Shane?" asked Phillip. "Because you're not getting what you feel you deserve. Rather you cheat on test or cheat on a spouse; you feel like you deserve a large slice of the cake. I was 18 when I got involved with a 30+ man. What the fuck did I know about relationships? One day, you find yourself 22, married to the only guy you've ever really dated, and then you ask yourself: 'Is this it for me'?"

Thoughts of Lori reentered Shane's mind; Shane really thought about his inappropriate relationship with Rick's wife prior to the outbreak. Even then Shane knew his actions were improper, but like Phillip said, Shane believed he deserved a larger slice of the cake. Shane started to wonder if he really held feelings for Lori or if he just was jealous of Rick.

Rick did have it all, didn't he? He had the wife, the kid, the house, a mom and dad that loved him. Shane didn't have any of that, his father died when he was a small boy leaving a void of meaningful male influence. This void of paternal involvement created a void in Shane that he would ultimately fill with copious amounts of casual sex. But no matter how much sex he had, no matter how many women he was with, Shane couldn't fill that canyon within his heart.

Lori was no exception, had there not been an outbreak and Shane still somehow slept with Lori, Shane probably would have disconnected with her like he did all the women he was with. He was a dog, which was his "charm". But the circumstances of the apocalypse changed Shane and he bonded with Lori and Carl in a way that was too intense for him. He wanted to be the surrogate protector, the new father-the _better_ father.

"When I cheated on Austin, I may a shit load of excuses, which just comes with the territory. We tried to make it work with mixed results. Cameron was really little; Austin was always in some God-Forsaken country working on toppling dictators. And I was at home; trying to decide if I wanted to be in ATLAS, if I wanted to be someone's husband. Maybe I just wanted to be _me_.

"So I decided, after me and Austin was done in Florida we were going to fly back to Boston, where we got married, and speed through a divorce. I would get sole-custody of Cameron, he would pay a little child support, I kept the brownstone in Manhattan he takes the beach house in San Diego."

"But then the outbreak happened," added Shane.

"Yup, we didn't exactly work well together in the very beginning. But we knew there wasn't a team on earth badder than Austin and I. we're fucking _Ronnie and Clyde,_ _Alexander and Hephaestion…"_

"Abbott and Costello?" teased Shane.

"Sometimes," admitted Phillip with a small smile. "Bottom-line: no one's perfect. Lori sounds like a complicated woman who was thrusted into less than ideal circumstances. We're human, we fuck up, and we also gotta learn to forgive. Shane you gotta forgive her."

 _Forgive Lori?_ The concept was foreign to Shane, Shane tilted his head in mild confusion, "Forgive her for what?"

"Hurting you," answered Phillip. "You aren't one to tell people you're hurt. You're like me: you'll let the pain burn until you can't take it anymore and then you're ready to fuck shit up. You're beating yourself up about Lori, but the real person you should feel bad about is Rick. Wasn't he like your cousin or something, you're really perpetuating that stereotype of incest in the rural south."

"Me and Rick wasn't _kin_ ," replied Shane, his voice was course. Phillip picked up the hostile vibes but that never stopped him from poking at Shane more. One of the things that ATLAS taught Phillip was how to use human psychology to manipulate a target. Phillip knew if continued to put pressure on Shane about Rick and Lori, the officer could finally purge them from his psyche. As long as Rick and Lori are alive in Shane's heart, the more that chapter of his life will influence his actions today. Shane's distractions and panic attacks in the middle of a herd could lead to someone being killed.

To Phillip, Rick, Lori, and Carl were faceless dead people. Phillip would not let their memory get Austin, Shane, or Buster killed. Luckily, Shane had yet to have a significant panic attack in months, Phillip didn't have the free time to baby sit him either.

"He wasn't family but he might as well have been," Phillip pressed. "You said you were with him when his father died from leukemia and when his first child was born. You were a part of the most important moments of his life-"

"-You don't think I _know_ that!" Shane finally snapping back, the officer also entered Phillip's bubble, only inches from his face. "You swear you know all the answers. You don't know shit."

The officer's eyes burned through the darkness of the shopping center. He wanted to pull out Phillip's trachea, but then who else would he talk to? Phillip, however, had played this game with Shane, sometimes Shane would swing, and sometimes he wouldn't. Either way, Phillip was more than capable of putting Shane on his ass.

"You need to forgive them: you need to forgive Rick and Lori. And when you honestly and earnestly forgiven them, then you'll be able to forgive yourself."

In the dark shots rang out inside of the shopping center, the two men quickly dart for cover. Phillip quickly grabs his berretta that sat at his left hip. "Austin, is that you?!" Phillip asked, while pressing the small button on his earpiece radio. "Austin, do you copy?" More bullets sprayed through the shadows while both Shane and Phillip tried their best to stay covered.

"Austin, do you copy?!" Shane's voice far more aggressive in nature.

"Maybe he was hit?" Phillip said, his voice breathless and beneath his icy surface he was beginning to panic.

Shane couldn't see the panic build in Phillip, but he knew they needed to come up with a solution and Phillip wasn't providing any proactive thinking. "Phillip, put on your goggles," whispers Shane.

"GET OUT!" a voice screamed. It was a male voice, but not exactly a man's voice. It was youthful, Phillip suspected a young teen.

"Shane, you hear that?"

"GET OUT RIGHT NOW! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU!" the boyish voice threaten.

"He sounds like he's thirteen," Phillip highlighted.

"Yeah, I hear it. Ever see _Children of the Corn_? Kids can kill too, he just said he _would_."

Bullets continued to ricochet of the ground and Shane became more and more agitated, he was prepared to end this boy just as he did Randall. "Let me give him a warning first, Shane. He keeps firing then we have no choice."

Phillip had a mission in Sierra Leone and he had to terminate child combatants, which was one of the darkest moments of Phillip's life and one of the reasons he wanted to leave ATLAS and Austin behind. If he would have to kill a child today, only moments after speaking Cameron's name, he would give the boy one chance to surrender. Not only for his own soul, but for Cameron.

"Stop-fucking-shooting!" Phillip demanded in a booming voice. "I just want to talk before things get really bloody, _for me_. See what you don't know is that we just want: to get a few canned goods, couple of cases of bottled water, lots of _Charmin._ But otherwise, we have no intentions on taking your pad. And I am sure you have plenty to spare. So I would hate to have to put a bullet in you before you got a chance to get your first lap dance, but I _will_."

Another round was fired; this round was different from the bullets fired earlier. Phillip suspected something in the Remington 700-family. "We got a sniper on board," Phillip said.

"Get the fuck out of her, now!" this voice howled through the darkness with a man's ferocity. Two more rounds were fired, almost grazing Phillip's shoulder.

"Ok, now I'm mad," Phillip concluded. The soldier slides on his crimson lens goggles and quickly scanned the room. The military level night vision goggles also had heat signature technology already installed as well. It didn't take Phillip too long to locate the two frames through the opaqueness of the room. The boy and man hid behind a glass counter that once held jewelry.

Phillip used deductive reasoning; the large frame had to be the man. The soldier raised his fire arm and fired into the darkness. Through the blackness the bullet met its target, lodged in the man's right shoulder.

"Damn it!" the man hissed upon contact.

Phillip could hear the man's cries, "Damn, I'm good." Shane rolled his eyes at Phillip, he was somewhat annoyed by how Phillip enjoyed powdering his own ass. It bothered Shane primarily because it reminded him of himself.

"I take it I shot you in the shoulder, that's where I was aiming. I could have just as well put one in your brain."

"Dad, stop!" a female voice called out from the shadows. Her voice originated from behind Phillip and Austin, her voice was young but adult.

"Nancy?!" Cried the man in desperation.

"I have your daughter, Nancy," Austin said, though not visible to Shane or Phillip he had Nancy cuffed with his pistol pressed against her back. "Stu, I know you have Henry and Jason with you. We're not here to hurt you, _any_ of you."

"Fuck you! Nancy, baby did they touch you?" Stu asked frantically as he tried his best to stop the bleeding.

"No dad, I'm cuffed but he didn't hurt me. Dad, you have to stop shooting!

"Why?! Who are these people?"

"Dad you don't get it, you have to stop shooting because…"

"Because what?!"

"Because, _that!"_ Phillip said with attitude. "Look at the doors."

Stu was reluctant to move from his position, his son Henry sat nervously next to his father, his hands desperately holding the 9 MM. Stu knew he had to see; Nancy was out there. Stu had lost his wife, Martha two weeks earlier, he would not lose Nancy as well.

Stu, using his sniper scope focused at the glass door of the shopping center and realized why his daughter begged him to stop firing. The dead had now began to pile up at the door, not ten, not twenty, not fifty, well over 100 were drawn by the gun fire.

"Oh… my… god…"Stu said in horror.

"Thanks for ringing the dinner bell, asshole," scolded Shane.


End file.
